Holly D’Arcy: Food, fitness & finding motivation

May 06, 2024

 

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“Sometimes I cringe at the word ‘resilience,’ but I am grateful for my resilience because I often have to work harder than anybody else in the room to do the same thing.”

 

Holly is a military spouse, mother, health coach, and competitive athlete who brings a unique perspective to the challenges and triumphs of navigating life with ADHD. Diagnosed at the age of 33, Holly has become passionate about learning all that she can about how ADHD impacts women young and old.   

 

We talk about the many ways in which ADHD affects our relationship with food, our bodies, and long-term fitness goals. Holly has a passion for helping adult women build confidence and consistency toward their health and fitness. We also talk about her personal training and lifestyle coaching and some of the common goals that she works on with her clients.

 

Since Holly is a military wife, we talk about structure and discipline, which can be appealing to so many of us with ADHD. And we talk about the pros and cons of having to relocate frequently. 

 

Websites: hdfitnesscoach.com

Instagram: @hollywaydarcy

 

Resources & Links:

Marnie Bothmer’s website

Episode 125 of Women & ADHD with Marnie Bothmer

Episode 17 of The ADHD Lounge

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Huff Post article on Joe Wicks

Dr. Joshua Wolrich’s response to Joe Wicks

 

Holly D'Arcy 0:00
I want to have a healthy lifestyle. I want to live a healthy lifestyle. I hear that a lot. But what that means is that this is something that's a long term goal for you. You want something sustainable, you want a healthy lifestyle for the rest of your long, long life. That's wonderful. But these extreme, all or nothing, challenges and short sighted tactics are not going to be a great match.

Katy Weber 0:30
Hello, and welcome to the women and ADHD podcast. I'm your host, Katy Weber. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 45. And it completely turned my world upside down. I've been looking back at so much of my life, school, jobs, my relationships, all of it with this new lens, and it has been nothing short of overwhelming. I quickly discovered I was not the only woman to have this experience. And now I interview other women who like me discovered in adulthood they have ADHD and are finally feeling like they understand who they are and how to best lean into their strengths, both professionally and personally. Okie dokie. Before we begin, I would love to share with you this review from a listener named ADHD mom on the Apple podcast platform. It's called getting to know ourselves. This podcast is amazing and introduces us to so many women with recent or late in life ADHD diagnoses. Not every interview fully resonates for me because we're all different. But there's been at least one tidbit in every episode that was impactful. This is a really valuable resource for newly diagnosed women. And it's also giving me additional resources with each woman interviewed whose business falls in an area I would use. Excellent. Well, thank you ADHD mom for that excellent review. I feel so fortunate to have been able to interview so many women with ADHD from so many different countries. And I feel like a broken record. When I say I am endlessly grateful for the positive reviews and the support I have received along the way, I really, really appreciate the time and effort it takes to stop what you're doing and to write a review. So if you are a listener of this podcast, and you found these interviews to be helpful, and you've been meaning to write a review, this is your friendly reminder to head over to Apple podcasts or audible or you can leave feedback on individual episodes on Spotify. And if that feels like too much, and believe me, I totally get it. You could also just go and quickly hit those five stars. In fact, why don't you just pause right now and do it I promise we will wait for you. Okay, one more thing before we get started with the episode, I want to let you know that the podcast will be changing to a monthly format moving forward. If you've been listening for a while you know that I've gone back to grad school to pursue my license in clinical mental health counseling. Now not only do I credit my diagnosis of ADHD with this decision to return to school seriously before I knew I had ADHD I never would have returned to grad school because I genuinely believed I was too dumb. Creating and hosting this podcast has opened up so many avenues and opportunities for me since it all began back in December of 2020. entering the field of mental health counseling is really important to me, I strongly believe that ADHD informed and trauma informed therapy is essential for the unique needs of neurodivergent women. So I cannot wait to expand my own skills and expertise and integrate therapy with coaching for my clients. That said after three and a half years of weekly episodes, the time has come for me to take a step back so I can concentrate on my academics and my practicum and my internship and all the fun things that lie ahead on this new career path. I love to stay busy and do all the things but I'm also learning to have balance and practice self care and the era yada yada yada all that fun stuff I work on with my clients. But I love interviewing women and hearing about their ADHD diagnoses and their journeys. I literally never get tired of it. It really feeds me and I'm just not ready to let go entirely so I am compromising something we are not traditionally very good at with all or nothing ADHD thinking and for the time being. I will be releasing new episodes on the first Monday of each month. And who knows at some point I might go back to a weekly format or a fortnightly format. I have no idea. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, here we are at episode 186 in which I interview Holly Darcy Holly is a military spouse, a mother, a health coach and a competitive athlete who brings a unique perspective to the challenges and triumphs of navigating life with ADHD diagnosed at the age of 33. Holly has become passionate about learning all that you can about how ADHD impacts women, young and old. We talked about the many ways in which ADHD affects our relationship with food, our bodies and long term food Nicole's Holly has a passion for helping adult women build confidence and consistency toward their health and fitness. So we've talked about her personal training and lifestyle coaching and some of the common goals that she works on with our clients. Plus, since Holly is a military wife, we talk about structure and discipline which can be appealing to so many of us with ADHD and we talk about the pros and cons of having to relocate so frequently. I talk a lot about my personal trainer throughout this episode, so I just want to give an official shout out to Marnie Bodmer who is phenomenal. You can find a link to her website in the show notes. And I interviewed her for the women in ADHD podcast for episode 125. And I also interviewed her with Alex Gilbert on the ADHD lounge podcast for episode 17. So there are links to both of those episodes if you want to hear more about Marty's incredible journey with multiple sclerosis and ADHD. And finally, just to clarify, in my conversation with Holly I mentioned the recent backlash against Joe wicks, who is a fitness influencer and a celebrity in the UK. Now I incorrectly said he is a nutritionist, he is definitely not a nutritionist, I want to make that clear. He is simply yet another uninformed white guy who has strong opinions about a topic he knows very little about. Anyway, I put a link to a Huff Post article about the controversial statements he said on a podcast recently, as well as some of the responses from the ADHD community. I also put a link to a great rebuttal reel from Dr. Joshua Woolridge. So if you want to follow an opinionated British white guy who actually knows what he's talking about, he's definitely the one you should be following. All right. Without further ado, here is my conversation with Holly. Well, Hi, Holly, thank you for joining me. Hi, Katie.

Holly D'Arcy 6:49
Thank you for having me. It's nice to meet you.

Katy Weber 6:51
It's so nice to meet you too. And I'm really excited. I feel like fitness. The relationship with our food or body is something that I certainly love to talk about. And I think it's a huge issue for so many of us with ADHD. So I'd like the, the connections must have been firing at full throttle when you first kind of came to that realization about ADHD. So I'm really, really curious to hear your story. What you were listening to a podcast from a fitness professional a couple years ago, what happened?

Holly D'Arcy 7:23
So I had been training for a long time, I've been a personal trainer since 2014. And I just said, after I had my second daughter, we were in the middle of a pandemic. And I said, I'm going to compete for body, you know, competing, a bodybuilding show. I had so much fun with it. It was really wonderful. And I just happened to be listening to a podcast. It was a fitness like bodybuilding related podcast. And there was a female physique competitor on there. And she was just kind of talking about her journey and her experiences with competing. And she had also mentioned, they got into a talk conversation about how she had recently been diagnosed as an adult with ADHD. And she was a mom and she kind of the I don't even remember which podcast, I need to go back and find it. But she started to talk to the interviewer started to ask her that host started to ask her about how did she even know and you know, what were some of the things she was struggling with. And she just was describing my life. And I was just really caught off guard. I paused the podcast, and she had mentioned the Chad website. And so I immediately went on and took the screener. And I think there's like a women's women's specific screener. And by the end of the day, I had already booked an appointment with my primary care provider and had a conversation with my husband. And there is some familiar familial history with ADHD on my dad's side of the family. And so when I was talking with my husband, he was laughing, I said, Chase, does this sound like me? I'm going through the screener. And he starts laughing and he's like, yes, like you can't even get through a movie without getting up three times and taking notes and like moving your body in some way and asking a bunch of questions. And then you have to be doing something even pay attention. So anyway, I was diagnosed in October 2022 At the age of 33, with ADHD, and that became a new obsession and interest in hyperfocus just learning all about that because it filled in so many blanks for me and so many questions and just was like, came with some grief too, but also was just really it's been really wonderful overall life changing in a positive way. Overall.

Katy Weber 9:43
Yeah, I was actually just having a conversation the other day with a friend who is much younger and she was diagnosed and we were talking about like, what if you could wave a magic wand and not have ADHD, would you and she was like, absolutely I wouldn't I mean She meant absolutely I would get rid of it. She was like, you know, it's fine. I managed, but I wish I didn't have it. And I was like, I don't even know how to separate myself from ADHD like I really, it's so pervasive in terms of like just looking back over your life through that new lens and just looking at being like, I don't even know who I would be without it. I feel like it's there with me. In every everything I do. Do you remember when you were taking the CEDD specifically that you were like, Oh, I, this is my life. Some

Holly D'Arcy 10:30
of the things that talked about I want to say, interrupting others. It's something that I definitely related to struggling with time management. And definitely, you know, feeling I totally can relate relate to that concept of time blindness. I think definitely that. Like anytime I come across anything about masking or rejection sensitivity, dysphoria, like big emotions, beyond just mood swings, but like being able to kind of being labile, with my emotions, was very relatable. As I kind of pored through more information, being able to like hyper focus on certain subjects if they were very, very interesting to me. But then, like just forgetting things, going upstairs to go grab the same thing three different times. So that most of most of them, and I do have the inattentive and hyperactive so I'll be sitting in church, and I'm just like moving my moving something or right now I'm playing with a little fidget thing, and it helps me focus. Yeah,

Katy Weber 11:43
you know, that I remember, like, as a child, my father was always madly taking notes in church, and he never once referenced them. But I'm like, Oh, my God, that was a totally ADHD coping mechanism. And he didn't realize it. And that was one of the hardest things as a kid was sitting in the pew, like, Oh, my God tried to trying to stay quiet and pay attention was one of those things that like, oh, yeah, the signs were there all along?

Holly D'Arcy 12:09
Very, very much. So I stopped, like, I was listening and doing all my fidgeting. And then I heard something when I was at church last weekend, and I grabbed my daughter's coloring book and wrote it down, because I just couldn't forget. And my husband's kind of looking at me, like, are you? Okay, I'm gonna do I just can't forget this.

Katy Weber 12:26
So now, you mentioned that your daughter was also diagnosed recently, right? She was, did you have any idea before you were diagnosed?

Holly D'Arcy 12:33
I had no clue. I had never, I'm telling you, Katie, up until I had listened to this podcast, I never even thought about I didn't even know that, you know, like, during the pandemic, it was like there was this surge of diagnoses. And it almost became something to where it was like kind of trending, I didn't even know that I just happened to be listening to this podcast. And it was, you know, because there's more research coming out on it. And people are going through a pandemic, and they're being diagnosed and like, it was just like, I didn't really even know much about it, other than just kind of the some of the stuff with the familial history, and, you know, some of some things that my brothers went through, but their own, I mean, this was back in like the mid 90s, when it was very different and understood in different ways. And then not as not, as you know, well understood as it is now and continues, hopefully continues to be, but I really didn't have any clue. But her and I are so similar in certain ways. She's much like her dad and other ways. But wow, I have a have a very, very deep appreciation and understanding for the way her brain works and how it shows up for her. Now she's in middle school. And so it's been interesting to see and to reflect on her own childhood and things that she's really excelled in, and also things that she struggled with sometimes. And so it was very affirming and really encouraging to receive that positive diagnosis. Because regardless of whether she did or not, we were going to continue to support her and the ways that we know best how to, but it just made sense. It just really made sense when we did you know receive that confirmation?

Katy Weber 14:11
Yeah, one of that's one of the things I'm so grateful for in terms of because because I was also diagnosed before my kids, which is rare. I mean, I feel like a lot of us in adulthood. It's the other way around. Like I just am so grateful for the language that I have that I didn't before when it came to where my kids are struggling because I've said this on the podcast before like my son immediately I was like, oh, yeah, like we are the same. And so if I have it, you have it. But my daughter, I never would have guessed I'd never in a million years would have guessed until I started interviewing women, and saw how differently it presents for so many people in childhood, especially kids who are really, really bright and do really, really well in school and end up compensating in really, really anxiety inducing ways. And so, but I'm just so grateful for the fact that like you said, like, I feel like I just feel so much better equipped to approach them. Um, when they are struggling as opposed to, you know, what my parents would have done, which is take away. So, you know, there were like it was all punitive. And I think our generation, most of our parents were like, it was really much more punitive than it is now. So I feel like I'm, I'm just so grateful that the diagnosis gives that opportunity to talk to her children in a different way. But it was funny because when you were talking about like, not being aware of it at all, neither was I, although even my therapist mentioned it to me many times before I finally got diagnosed. But now that I'm approaching menopause, and I'm like, deep into perimenopause, and hormones and like, everything I can find about menopause because I'm turning 50 This year, and I'm just like, I'm like all about it. But every it's like, there's like a new person every day on the internet who like some influencer? who's like, why is nobody talking about menopause? I'm like, lots of people are talking about it, you just now our interest. And I'm like, that kind of speaks to our brains where I've like, it's out there. It's just that it's like something had to, like, a switch had to flip from from being like, yeah, it's this thing that's kind of in the periphery to this is everything, and really zeroing in on it.

Holly D'Arcy 16:08
Yeah, it's all of a sudden, you can relate or you go through an experience, and it's just like, Oh, now it becomes, you know, super interesting and very personal. And I agree with you that now I am thankful, in the way that I was diagnosed first, and you know, was able to advocate for myself, and then, you know, go on, to do the same for my oldest daughter. And, you know, it makes sense to we'll do the same for my youngest daughter, and because I'm able to advocate for her and just be able to be a little bit more proactive than if maybe I didn't have that language and that understanding and interest in learning all about this.

Katy Weber 16:45
So I'm curious, what is your theory as to why so many of us have such a disordered relationship with food in our bodies? Okay, we only have an hour, right? We only have an hour? That's such a big question. I know. I'm sorry. I just sprung that on you. Because again, that's one of those situations where I'm like, is this ADHD? Is this diet culture? Is this being a woman is this like, I never know what is at play when it comes to having, you know, a difficult relationship with exercise. But I also know like now, having worked with so many ADHD women, it's really difficult for a lot of us to have just like a casual, healthy relationship with anything, but especially when it comes to nutrition and exercise. And I think, you know, I don't know if you've been following all this backlash against the British nutritionist who was quoted recently as he, he was, he apologized and I think he was roughly misquoted, but he basically was like on a podcast and said that ADHD is caused in children by sugar. And so there was this huge backlash about, you know, sugar doesn't cause ADHD. But then there was a backlash to the backlash, which was like, yeah, it doesn't cause ADHD, but it's also really not great. No, it

Holly D'Arcy 18:06
definitely can exacerbate symptoms in a lot of people. Right?

Katy Weber 18:11
It's like screens. I'm like, I don't think screen use is causing ADHD. But I also think it's a conversation that needs to be had, especially when it comes to children. So it's like, where do we find that line? And I feel like that, like just having, like, I don't even what's the word? It's like, laid back relationship with this stuff? Like, I feel like we're just so all or nothing when it comes to these topics. And I'm curious if you've had any, like revelations, since your diagnosis about like, what is it about the ADHD brain that sends us into such

Holly D'Arcy 18:42
disorder? I think a lot of it is that not and, you know, I can't speak for everyone, but I see a lot of that all or nothing thinking or perfectionistic kind of thinking that's very. And, you know, on the ADHD side of things, it's like, think about, you know, a lot of us struggle with a task initiation. And then there's like, the task commitment and follow through, which definitely shows up for me in other ways. But I don't know if it's women, I don't know if it's just like kind of our culture, I think there's many different layers to that, so much of it is like what we see almost, you know, like, on social media and just out there in the marketing and kind of like what we see as like, when we grew up and kind of the the diet culture that we grew up in, and it was either, you know, low carb or low fat and everything just swings to these big extremes. And, and the sexy stuff is what stands out, you know, so it's always like the sustainable, you know, have moderation have balanced that doesn't really catch people's eye, you know, so I think there's some of that, I don't know if it's, people with ADHD might be impacted more by that, I think because we have a tendency to have that like all or nothing thinking. I think that also there's this element for a lot of us that's like, I know from like with my ADHD like I for such a long time and still, you know, I still struggle with it sometimes if feeling there's something wrong with me, like, I always felt like an outsider, even if I wasn't I always felt like an outsider or I felt like weird. And my oldest daughter has said to me so many times mom and my weird or, you know, I'm weird, but I'm okay with it like she knows, you know. So we always feel like there's something wrong with us. So I think that when it comes to making change, it's this frame, we're coming into it with this posture of like, well, there's something wrong with me. And so I need to fix myself. And so I see a lot of that. And so something I really try to focus on, if someone does come to me, they have some goals for say they want to, they want to lose some body fat, you know, I can help them with that. But that can't be the only thing that we're focused on. And it can't be the only definition of success. Because honestly, helping them do that is not, it's not going to my experience, it's not going to give them the things that they think it's going to give them. And so I try to layer in, hey, let's focus on performance. And for women, I think especially, you know, the feeling of feeling strong and seeing your body perform feats that you didn't know that it could do in the gym, or, you know, however you'd like to move your body building self efficacy with, you know, I work with a lot of women who are in their late 30s 40s 50s, who are getting into you, they they're a lot of them are moms, they've got kids who are now school age or older. And they are finding that they have a little bit more time to focus on themselves, but they're like doing it in a way that that helps them feel kind of like find themselves or find out like kind of another kind of dimension of themselves that they've never felt before and trying to focus on this element of success that celebrates how they're feeling, they're feeling more energy, or they're feeling less stressed out, their digestion is improving. So finding the wins and the improving the way that they feel, and not just focusing on Great, good job your body smaller, we're doing awesome. I don't know, there's so many different layers to that. But I think that coming from it of like this point of view of like, there's nothing wrong with you. And also like, for me, I try to explain to people, this is something that I'm I'm obsessed with it like I'm so passionate about, I love it, I find it. For me, it's been really positively life changing, because I didn't grow up. But I didn't really grow up very fit. And I had a lot of harmful messaging, we'll just, you know, leave it at that as a child, and growing up. And so for me, it was like when I found my fitness and I found my athleticism, it was really a positive thing for me. And I'm thankful that I did have some positive influences. I also had some negative influences around me, but I had overall some really positive influences. I think also because of ADHD, when I found like, wow, I can affect positive change in myself I can I can be an agent of change, it really built some self advocacy, it built up more self trust for me. And so while my clients are not obsessed with this stuff the way that I am, I can help them feel that sense of like, Wow, I feel I feel like these things are helping me physically feel better, mentally feel better, and improving that kind of self trust or self efficacy, whatever you want to call it. And it carries over to other levels and areas of their life as well.

Katy Weber 23:39
One of the things I really when you reach out to me, and I was started looking and looking at your website and stuff back, like I love your messaging, and I love your approach. And so and I feel like that is a really difficult balance, you know, to kind of use the right wording and really, you know, how do I emphasize because there is a lot of ways in which the fitness industry can promise things to women. And I you know, and I do think that one of the things with ADHD is we do sort of feel like like you, you said it so well, which is like we really feel like we are, you know, trying to figure out what's different about us and trying to figure out what's wrong with us. And I've said that so many times on the podcast, and even now, in my counseling curriculum where I'm like, if your client comes to you and says, What's wrong with me that should be immediate, that should immediately like, you know, be a red flag where you should look into ADHD because I feel like that is like a universal question that so many of us ask ourselves, especially in therapy. So I'm like that when you think about that point of view, which is like there's something different about me, there's something, quote unquote, wrong with me. And so maybe I need to fix it through this. Maybe I can fix it through this. And so I think a lot of the time we do fixate on our physical body right or we fixate on food is one of those things that's really easy to control. And so we'd look for legs so we look for those things that in our A life that are easy to control. And you know, so much of like are we become people pleasers and perfectionist, because we're sort of trying to create this vision of ourselves that might fit in with, you hit the nail on the head when you were talking about, like, so many of us have such low self worth, and such confusion in our life, that it makes sense that we would be looking for ways to prove our worth. And one of the things I think I talk about with a lot of my coaching clients is like, one of the things that an adult diagnosis can do is often like, it's an opportunity to feel like you have worth and therefore when you feel like you have worth, you're able to take care of yourself. And so you sort of shift away from proving your worth, to actually like, what do I What does my body need? How do I take care of myself, and that's like a really wonderful shift. But again, I'm also like, I'm at that age where I don't know how much I you know, I care less about what people think of me, I care less about having a flat stomach, or all those things that I would have cared about when I was younger. You know, I saw a video the other day that was talking about like, hormonally speaking for women, you know, in their 40s. And approaching menopause, you want to stop doing like really high, like hit cardio and stuff, and you want to focus more on strength training, and I was like, Oh, my God. Yeah, I was like, I need more of this in my life, right? Where it was like, because I do a lot of strength training. But then, you know, I'm always worried about like that verse. You know,

Holly D'Arcy 26:29
I'm so glad to hear that you do, right? I

Katy Weber 26:31
do, actually. And I have, I do have a personal trainer who is wonderful, and really, really is, you know, focuses on all the things you were talking about, which is like getting strong. And but I do feel like with, you know, I also have so many clients who are just very sedentary and feeling really bad about it. And just joining the gym is not enough for them, but they can't afford a personal trainer. And so then it's like, well, then what? And a lot of that ends up being a mindset shift, which is like, why am I doing this? And that's where I think we get into, or we hit a wall often. So I really liked what you said about just like taking care of ourselves. Yeah,

Holly D'Arcy 27:12
I think coming at it from a place of like, instead of what's wrong with me, and I need to fix this coming at it from a place of like, I don't feel great. I feel like I want to take care of myself, I want to nurture myself, I want to do this from a place of I don't even want to say self love, you know, but from a place of like self acceptance. This is the way things are right now. But I know that there are things that I can do to help myself feel better. I see more for myself coming up from a place of like, abundance and not like, I can't do this. I can't do I can't eat that I can't you know, like, Let's fill ourselves up with more of the good stuff. Yeah, I like that. I'm so glad you're lifting weights and strength training. That's so great to hear. Yeah. So

Katy Weber 27:58
what are some of the what are some of the things you find that you work on the most with clients? And do are you like armchair, diagnosing them all? No.

Holly D'Arcy 28:09
Not all of them. When a potential client comes to me, and they set up a consultation, I'm gonna meet with them face to face. Right now I have people that I work with, I'm really grateful to say, people that I work with in six different time zones. And so I think that's so cool that technology allows for, you know, us to connect in this way. And I like to get into kind of figuring out, I find that clients kind of need different things, sometimes they need help, like with the mindset side of things, sometimes they need a lot of help with accountability. And they need a lot of like frequent touch points. Sometimes they want like a, like a strategy, or they they really like to know the why. And sometimes it's a combination of all of that. So I've tried to like pull that out, you know, where I can like best serve them. I also often find that when somebody meets with me for an additional cost consultation, that their motivation is very high. And that is great. But I also know that motivation is a very finite resource. It's not something that it's something that kind of ebbs and flows. And it's not something that we can really rely on over the long term. So I think that helping them kind of, you know, get down to like a deeper why like, Okay, you, you want to lose weight, because that's a very common when I want to lose weight, or why do you want to lose weight? I want to fit back in the clothes that I did, you know, when I had before I had kids, okay, well, why? And, you know, we kind of try to go deeper and sometimes it kind of comes down to some of these things of like, there's something wrong with me or like I want to feel, you know, anyway, so that's one element of it. I think that also looking at motivation is great. Your motivation is high. Let's take advantage of this. But also we've got to look to your environment. This I love. Have you ever read James clears atomic habits? Yeah, very, very popular. Yes. So, you know, he talks a lot about this of kind of like, motivation, instead of focusing or trying to leverage your motivation, leverage your environment instead. So something I tried to work really, really hard right off the bat with someone, and I try to meet everybody where they're at, as best I can, because people are coming to you with different experiences, different knowledge or confusion, you know, things that we have to kind of unlearn. So challenge them from there, you know, in an appropriate way. And so it's one of those things like, okay, hey, let's look around your environment. If I tell you, Okay, you need to eat this much food, and you need to work out, you know, you need to do this, and this and that, and give you all these numbers and all these calories that might be, and not usually gonna do that for anybody, but that's going to be a lot for some people. So hey, let's look around your environment. Right now, you know, you're getting home from work at six o'clock at night. And you've got three kids and your husband's a military spouse, I've worked with quite a few military spouses your husband's deployed, and you're telling me like, you don't have time to make something healthy, okay, like, let's, let's look at that, you know, or, let's look at where you do have time. So I'm kind of of off a month and getting in there and getting to know what their kind of day to day environment looks like, where are the supportive parts of the of their environment, and where are maybe the elements of their environment that are kind of getting in their way or causing friction. So that's often where I really like to dig in is starting with the environment. And if the environment is modified to be a little bit more supportive, and some other examples, you know, maybe you lift two days a week, but then you have, you know, go for a walk during this time of day, or you know, you go for a walk each day, instead of thinking that you have to go to the gym every single day, or, you know, for the people that can you know, source this, maybe we use grocery delivery or like a meal kit service or something like that, or looking at some really like simple, simple, simple meal prep options are just it's kind of like going to be very individualized. But I think that looking at environment and explaining that that motivation is going to come and go. But if their environment is more supportive, that's going to be more conducive to them being able to continue and be consistent. That's the other thing I often hear is, I want to lose weight, or I want to have a healthy lifestyle, I want to live a healthy lifestyle. I hear that a lot. But what that means is that this is something that's a long term goal for you, you want something sustainable, you want a healthy lifestyle for the rest of your long, long life. That's wonderful. But these extreme, all or nothing, challenges and short sighted tactics are not going to be a great match. If you want something that's sustainable and long term, then we need to be approaching it from that point of view. That's how I see it.

Katy Weber 33:03
Yeah, I know consistency. I mean, even just acknowledging how difficult it is, I think it was is one thing, but I like that how you connected the fact that we do tend to go like all in the beginning and that that might actually, you know, not work in our favor when it comes to pulling back. And so how do you like temper your enthusiasm in the beginning? Because I always feel like that's one of the things I love about ADHD is going 150% Into something in the beginning. You know, it's funny with atomic habits, like one of those the only things I really took from that book was the part where like, I asked myself, What would healthy Katie do, right? I don't know if you remember that. But he was talking about what it was somebody at the book who was like, every time they were faced with the elevator or the stairs, they would be like, what would the healthy version of B do and yeah,

Holly D'Arcy 33:56
yeah, that identity and how you how you see yourself kind of goes back to that self worth and you know, trying to fix yourself. It's kind of like that identity piece of how do you view yourself now and yeah, I I took that that was a big takeaway for ya.

Katy Weber 34:12
Right. Well, and I think I look the other thing I like about it is that it's like just like right here, right now, what's this one decision that I'm in control over? And it's not like, what is my the next year? What are the next 10 years gonna look like? But it's really like bringing it back down to just like, what is it? What is the decision I can make right now? And I think that's another one that's really difficult for us because we like to think about things all the time. Yes,

Holly D'Arcy 34:37
yes, that execution piece and so that kind of like you were saying is like you know, a lot of my clients do struggle with consistency. And so it's all I would almost rather it and that's why I do with a lot of my clients we start out simple like like even maybe simpler than they think they should or they need to and not everybody, some people We're ready to optimize things like sometimes I'll say we need to focus more on execution over optimizing, or what's ideal, we just need to focus on taking action. But sometimes we can get a little bit more complex and optimized. And I'm all for that for the individual who's ready for that. But it's like, what is going to be kind of the minimum effective dose, what is the smallest amount that we can do, that's going to have the greatest impact. And then from there, that's where, you know, like, with, with coaching, and counseling is that's where that layering of like the accountability and the systems that I have in place, for them to then touch base with me, and we're celebrating those wins, and, you know, and then they start to see, okay, I've been in this for a couple of weeks, I'm doing this, oh, now I'm seeing, I'm feeling better. I'm seeing some changes, okay. Like, I'm doing this, I'm doing this, you know, so that's the fun part, then it's like, okay, you know, you can do this, and they start to realize, wow, I've been had a client who shared with me the other day, she had done 200. And she said, I just finished my 200 and first workout. And I said, since I since I first started with you, and I said, that's amazing. Like, that's incredible. You know, that's consistency. There you go, you're doing it?

Katy Weber 36:09
Well, I'm curious, your thoughts on the military, too, because I My theory is that the military is filled with people with ADHD, because there's such intense structure and such regimen. And I think that's really appealing. When you're young. And you're you are in that kind of like, I'm feeling adrift or, you know, there's something like I when I was in high school, I dropped to joining the military for that same reason where I was like, I just want to be in a system, like I just want, you know, to have somebody yell at me. You know, like all of that, I'm sure it's not like that. But the stereotype of like, you know, waking up to the bugle, and just all of the structure that was really, really appealing. Now, I realized to my ADHD brain, so I'm curious if you spending a lot of time around military families

Holly D'Arcy 36:59
does that land, it's so wetlands really hard. It's so funny that you say that, because, you know, not to not to divulge all of my brother's information and my family history and stuff. But my youngest brother, he recently joined the Air Force, and he's really, you know, starting to get into his his job assignment and his new base. And he's, you know, really starting to kind of build this this life for himself. And he's newly married. And I had mentioned to my husband, who has been in for 16 years, I said, this is so great for my brother, I said, and he has ADHD, I think he'd be okay with me telling you that, and he seems to be doing really well. And it seems to be benefiting him in a lot of positive ways. And I'm sure they're gonna be, you know, like anything, there's gonna be some downsides to it. But he seems to be really like thriving under that structure. And that discipline. And I agree with you, I think that a lot of people with ADHD probably, like can thrive. And I don't know, you know, the exact statistics. But I think that there's that element of being able to, you've got those like, woven in structures, and it's, you know, regimented, and I can see it being really valuable. For sure. I know that for me, as I was finishing undergrad, I went to school for education. And I was once upon a time a very long time ago, I was an elementary school teacher. But it's so funny. And this goes back to like, all the different, you know, jobs and interests and things I've tried over the years, I was literally getting ready to graduate with my education degree and I was interning and an elementary school and getting ready to start applying for jobs. And meanwhile, I was working out with an officer recruiter and getting ready to prepare for, you know, put in an OTS packet. And so just funny, I didn't end up doing that I did end up becoming a teacher. But then I ended up becoming a personal trainer. And thankfully, I'm stuck with that. And I love it. It is the best fit. But it's just so funny, because it really appealed to me. I really, really, I mean, even sometimes I joke with my husband, I think I'm just gonna go enjoy the military. But I'm not going to but yes, I totally agree. The only thing though, and I don't I don't know how much you know about this. And I don't know, I will say like, I'm definitely not an expert, but I don't know that that they can join that people can join the military and be I don't know that they can be like formally diagnosed or that they can be medically treated with medication. I don't really know enough about that. But I think that there's some things there that at least as of right now that are let my limit limit them.

Katy Weber 39:33
I know I think that's the great irony is a lot of the stigma around that diagnosis. You know, even even Yeah, I think pilot pilots cannot definitely can't be diagnosed with it. So yeah. But yeah, it's funny that you mentioned teaching too, because it's sort of I feel like that's another career where that we all flocked to I feel like every you know, teaching nursing, there's like a list One of the things laid out after my diagnosis and over the years learning, like how important it is to have help and to have supports, right, and I have that structure. So it's really difficult to build that for yourself in this world, especially in a Western culture, where it's where, you know, it's, it's built on the fundamentals of our society, our independence, and picking yourself up by your bootstraps, and a lot of those things that make living with ADHD even more difficult, but I'm like, gosh, I feel like a, you know, it would be so nice to have more careers, or just more situations that are communal, you know, and I think about, like, I remember, like guests that come from such from countries or cultures that are more communal. It's like ADHD doesn't doesn't necessarily exist. I mean, obviously, it does, but it's like, you know, they're, I don't know what I'm trying, I'm getting all jumbled up. But you know what I mean, like, I'm like, there's certain cultures that I think are so much more amenable to an ADHD, and us is not one of those. And,

Holly D'Arcy 41:04
but and then also, it's like, then there's that element of like, I mean, I relate so well, and it's something I'm really working to be like, more vulnerable and more like, just open about asking for help or even like seeking help, and, or receiving help if somebody offers. Or, for me, I'm, I have ADHD, and then I'm also I'm very talkative, but I can, I'm very naturally introverted, like, that's my default is I'm very comfortable, I get very drained social settings, and very comfortable being alone and in solitude, almost to a fault sometimes, but then that's something I also know that I need, and I benefit from some connection and, you know, certain in certain settings. And I think that when it comes to like with those of us who have ADHD who struggle like with a lot of like masking, you know, I think back to like, when I was a brand new mom and I was really struggling with, call it postpartum depression, or just I struggled a lot after I had my first daughter. And like, I wasn't really willing to receive help. I did not know how and was not willing to ask for help. But then nobody, like, if you looked at me, I like, like, had it all together, but I didn't. And yeah, I just totally agree that if there was more of a if that was just part of the environment is just more more focused in connection, I think that would be beneficial for sure.

Katy Weber 42:30
Yeah, well, and I think parenting and babies is such a great example of that, where, you know, a couple generations ago, you wouldn't have been living far away from your parents, you probably might have been living in the same home is like they were much smaller communities, there were those, those systems were built in. And so we weren't as alone as brand new parents as we tend to be now and, you know, ADHD and babies, it's never a great combination. Wow.

Holly D'Arcy 43:00
Thankfully, my youngest is getting ready to turn four in a couple of days. So we're, you know, kind of moving into this different phase. But yeah, that you're sleep deprived. And I don't know about for you, Katie. But like when my sleep is not good, my symptoms are so much more difficult to manage, it is much more of a struggle. And so you know, you have a new baby, and you're a new mom trying to like figure out what your identity even is and ADHD and you're tired, and it's a lot.

Katy Weber 43:30
It is, it is a lot. I had somebody of one of the one of my classmates recently was just announced that she was pregnant. I was like, Oh, that's great. Congratulations. And then she was sort of like, I don't know, but I'm terrified because all you would do is talk about how hard babies are. Like, oh, no, it's great. But I think it's a good example of like, you really need you need support and you need to ask for it. And that's not always the hardest or that's not always the easiest thing to do. And even if you do ask for it, you know sometimes it's you have to then follow up and then you have to follow through and then you have to feel like you know, it's it helped this complicated I guess is my point.

Holly D'Arcy 44:09
Yeah, yeah. I'm thankful I work with quite a few moms and good handful of new moms and I feel special to me. And it's really truly a privilege for me. Man, you know what I think like a lot of us ADHD are as we come come at life with just our default mode is like super, like highly sensitive or like super, you know, empathetic and and so I just have like a really special soft place in my heart for the the new moms that I get to work with, you know, and sometimes when we are we're checking in we're checking in about their, you know, they're working on but also it's like, you know, how did you practice self kindness and stress management this week? We're definitely talking about their sleep and how like how are you you know, how are you doing? How can I help you and so it's a tough but but wonder While at the same time, like, I can look back on those days, and they were really, really hard for me, they were also like, really wonderful in a lot of ways too. But parenthood is just all the different, you know, ages and stages. Now I have a middle schooler, and a preschooler, and that's a big gap in and of itself, but try to embrace it as much as I can. And remember, it's gonna be fleeting, and now your kids are much older, so you understand what I'm saying?

Katy Weber 45:23
I know I do. And I'm like it. I feel like every year it gets better and better. But I also like you said, I loved it. You know, it's not I do talk very much about how difficult it was and how there is a part of me that really wants to go back and give myself a hug back then, because I was just so hard on myself. And that's where I feel like it's difficult where I'm like, Yeah, I just, I wish I knew, you know, that I wasn't the problem. Like you said, you know, I wish I knew that it wasn't I just needed sleep. And I wasn't a bad mom. I think that's the one thing I was I was so convinced I was just doing everything wrong. And that's the that's the person I want to go back and hug. It's not the babies that were the problem. Really?

Holly D'Arcy 46:04
Yeah, I needed to hear I needed to hear like, Holly you're doing you're doing a really good job. You're definitely working hard enough. I know. You think you're not working hard enough. I know you're think you're messing all this up. But you're not. You're doing an awesome job. And you're working plenty hard.

Katy Weber 46:22
I love that. I know, I always joke with my with my personal trainer that like the first 15 minutes of our session are basically therapy. Oh, yeah.

Holly D'Arcy 46:33
They're probably a great trainer.

Katy Weber 46:36
So So you know, I love what you talked about just in terms of that dynamic with your with your clients. Are there other things since your diagnosis that you've been able to say like, I really liked this, about this, and this about me, and it's thanks to my ADHD,

Holly D'Arcy 46:51
I am really grateful. Like I mentioned for my, like, just ability that I guess I'm sensitive to people's, I try to be sensitive to people's emotions, and my ability to hyper focus, like because I truly so fascinated, I try to stay really up to date on the current research in in exercise science and nutrition, like devour these, like monthly journal reviews and research reviews. And I just really love this stuff. And I feel very fortunate. And like I said, I feel very privileged that I like anybody who contacts me and they're just like, Hi, I'd like for you to help me with this. I'm like, thank you so much. This is awesome, because I am very interested in it. And I think that it's amazing that I can help somebody while it may not be their passion, or you know, interest, that's okay, because I can still help them feeling better just feeling, you know, improving their health and their well being in some way. So I'm really thankful for that. Those those traits of I think like, being, you know, maybe highly sensitive and being, Oh, I lost my train of thought being, you know, sensitive and being able to hyper focus. And then I think also I have this, I'm able, I think that just that word of resilience, and sometimes I cringe at the word resilience, you hear it a lot in the military community, like, Oh, your kids are so resilient, and your family's so resilient. I'm like, I know, we're very, very resilient. But truly, I am really grateful for my resilience, because I know, like I have, I have had to work very hard, sometimes harder than you know anybody else in the room to do the same thing. But it's made me that that resilience, like I'm okay with making mistakes, and I understand that about myself better now, is that maybe in the past, I really struggled with making mistakes. Whereas now that I understand this about my brain, I can be more open to that and more open to you know, learning new things. And so, um, yeah, I'm grateful for that as well, kind of that, that resilience that, you know, a lot of us whether we want to or not a lot of us with ADHD are pretty darn resilient.

Katy Weber 49:05
I totally agree. And I kind of like wonder if it has something to do with working memory, because I've often I like, sometimes I feel like, I get over things really quickly. Like, I do not hold grudges. I'm just like, I can like today, I'll be like, This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I will be so dramatic and I will catastrophize and my husband will, you know, be like, oh gosh, okay. And then the next day he'll say, like, are you okay? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm fine. I moved on. And I'm like, I kind of feel like it has something to do with like, just how terrible my memory is because I do move on really quickly. I don't know if that's, I think that's part of resilience too, which is just being able to say like, Yeah, that's fine. That's in the past.

Holly D'Arcy 49:51
I completely relate to that I had explained to my husband, you know, from time to time, we have a disagreement or two, and I've had to explain to him like listen, I just want Talk about it, we need to get it sorted out, we need to get on the same page. And you know, if you owe me an apology, and you apologize, and I owe you an apology, I have I am moved on like I is in the past, I am not dwelling and I am not holding grudges, I'm not resentful, like, I already forgot about it.

Katy Weber 50:19
Totally, totally. Yep, I

Holly D'Arcy 50:20
agree with you. And it probably is something that the working memory like, Wait, why were we even disagreeing in the first place? Let's like, let's watch a movie.

Katy Weber 50:29
But it's, you know, I think it is, it is true, what you say about like, just really, genuinely, there is so much empathy involved in it in the way in which we relate to other people. And I think also, you know, often wanting other people wanting to help others see what we have learned, right? Like saying, you know, I always feel like, if I can save one woman from feeling terrible about herself, it will make it all worth it. Right. And so I think there's that feeling of like, like, what you're doing really is in the helper, you know, realm, that helper community of nurses and teachers, right, where it's like, you really do just want to help other people succeed and to find their why. And I think it is really, really noble. And like I said, I'm my own personal trainer is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, because she has really helped me shift that right and to come to sort of, you know, a lot of those things where, you know, a lot of that idea of just consistency and, and feeling showing up for yourself is something that I think a lot of us really struggle with. And so it makes perfect sense that you would really deeply connect with the whims of your clients. And then that, again, is so reciprocal, right. It's so motivating. It's so helpful to us when we help other people too. And I think that's how so many of us end up in these helping professions.

Holly D'Arcy 51:49
Yes, it is so fulfilling and rewarding, and sometimes exhausting, but just really, like, really wonderful. I completely agree with you. Uh, you had a really good

Katy Weber 51:59
alternative name for ADHD, which,

Holly D'Arcy 52:05
what would you what would you call it? If you could? Yes. I would call it v f. I had to write this one down. V f, three s, and that would stand for variable focus and stimulation sensitivity syndrome.

Katy Weber 52:23
I love it. Yeah. Because it really is Gosh, stimulation sensitivity syndrome. Again, I'm sort of like, would that have made any sense to me? Because I never used to think I was, I never used to think I was like, I had sensory issue. If you would ask me if I had sensory issues, I would have been like, No, I don't know what you're talking about. Because I would have pictured something much more extreme. Now. On the other hand, I look back and I'm like, oh, yeah, like, I can't have overhead lighting, or you know, they sweat. There's only like, I own 50 sweaters, but I only ever wear like three of them. That sort of thing where it's like, you know, I'd like do have a lot of sensory issues. But I've also I feel like stimulation sensitivity. That's a good one that's sort of like the hyperactivity versus hyper arousal, right, which is like, yeah, that's like that word. Yeah.

Holly D'Arcy 53:12
I don't know about you. But I mean, I literally have been playing with this thing the whole time, we've been talking and, and that's helped me to, like, just make sure I'm on track and focusing. But then also, like, just I think you had mentioned this, you know, a couple podcasts ago, I listened to all of your episodes, Katie. i You had mentioned and I think it was something about, for me, I related it to when I'm brushing my teeth. I am also like watching you to video or listening to a podcast. And I'm also like, maybe setting an alarm. Like I'm walking around doing something and putting something away, like getting ready. Like if I'm doing my hair versus like, I'm so bored by that I don't want to do it. And so like I have to be doing lots of other things while I'm doing that. So it's not like constant like we just needing stimulation, but then also knowing when we really don't need stimulation being able to come down from that so that I think you know, that kind of goes back to like, nutrition and fitness sometimes I think with ADHD are some of us might struggle with like eating to stimulate to get some sort of stimulation or like you know, dopamine. Yeah, there's a lot there.

Katy Weber 54:24
Oh, my goodness. Yeah, for sure. Well, it is. It's funny that you bring that up because I have the the new I use the quip toothbrushes and they have the little like buzzer that goes off every 30 seconds. But they come with an app now. Their new like updated version of them, they it comes with an app and it literally will tell you if you've how much time you spent on the top of your mouth versus the bottom of your mouth. And so I'm like trying to pay attention each time there's a 32nd BUZZER if I'm like okay, now I have to move from the top to the back. But I'm also like walking around and doing my net Hate routine and like opening windows and closing what and like, it's driving me crazy because I'm like, I cannot pay attention. But I, I also there's the ADHD part of me that wants to be a good student. So I want to have perfect 50% Top advice. So of course, eventually, I was like, That's it, I deleted the app. I just uploaded I was like, I can't do this. So he worked with I'm sorry, I'm breaking up with you. But it seemed like such a good thing at the beginning. But it was just too much. This is not a quick sponsored by them. I do love their toothbrushes. So. But that is funny. What were we talking about with the brought

Holly D'Arcy 55:46
that up with that with the just variable like stimulation and seeking kind of like seeking different types of stimulation? Or, you know, Oh, right. Yeah. Or

Katy Weber 55:56
even just like, when my kids were little, and I didn't, you know, and we put them to bed and my husband would lean into me and I'd be like, Don't touch me. Please. Don't touch me feelings. Right. being touched. You're like touched out. Yeah, that was a phrase that I had a really hard time explaining to him when my kids were little. And now I'm like, Oh, that makes perfect sense.

Holly D'Arcy 56:17
Yeah. Yeah. It's like, just sometimes I just don't and especially in those early days with babies, it's very much Yeah. It's like, I know, I just want to just be in comfy clothes completely by myself. Yeah. You can sit there but just don't touch me. Yeah. Well,

Katy Weber 56:39
that's awesome. So I guess if you listen to my podcast, you know how often I repeat myself. That's the other thing.

Holly D'Arcy 56:45
Oh, same here. That's okay. It's great. It's good for our memory. That's true. I love that.

Katy Weber 56:54
Well, this has been great. Thank you so much. And like I said, I love what you're doing. And I really love the your messaging and I will definitely have your website. It's HD HD fitness. coach.com. Yes, I will put a link to that in the show notes. Of course. Why? What is HD fitness? No, no, of course. I'm gonna go. I really

Holly D'Arcy 57:13
don't even remember. I just know. Yeah, yeah. And I have some Google reviews if you Google HD fitness LLC. But if you Google HD fitness, I think it's just like maybe an apparel company or something like that. But its website is HD fitness. coach.com. Okay,

Katy Weber 57:28
yeah, I'll definitely have that in the show notes. And you work virtually I could take it with clients that almost do work in person. And virtually or almost exclusively. I

Holly D'Arcy 57:39
currently have a little bit of in person work that I do. I have a couple of clients, they come to my house, and we get to train together, which is great. But just because of the nature of being a military spouse, and just, you know, business over time, it's it's made the most sense for me to be primarily remote at this time. So yeah, I'd say the majority of my work is definitely virtual and remote. But what that is really wonderful, because then I can work with people, you know, wherever their clients who are in Europe and South America and Japan. And so yeah, wherever you are, I can I can work with you. Yeah, no,

Katy Weber 58:17
that is amazing. Do you guys move around a lot?

Holly D'Arcy 58:20
Well, we moved here, I live in Florida currently, and we moved here last summer. And that was our fourth move in five years, almost five years to the day. So not five and a half years, or almost six years. It was fourth move in five years. But we should be here for a little while, a couple of years. And then my husband will be retiring. He's in his last six years before he retires. Which seems like a long time, but it it goes by quickly. Yeah.

Katy Weber 58:45
Wow. So do you like the moving a lot? Or I feel like that would kind of be fun for somebody with ADHD?

Holly D'Arcy 58:51
It's that that's a loaded question. I enjoy it. And I definitely get to a point where I'm I really enjoy the first couple of months in a new place and being anonymous and just kind of like being able to explore a new area. But also because I am naturally more introverted and but I also know that I benefit from social interaction from time to time and community and connection. It's one of those things that I haven't really been able to I have not been great at seeking it out in the past couple of years. And it's one of those things that finally I feel like I'm just now here in Florida starting to really be able to, like nurture that need for myself, which is really wonderful. It's something that I'm kind of rediscovering and realizing like that I've you know, benefit from so yeah, I really we love traveling like like that's one of our favorite things to do for fun as a family. We love exploring new places. And I'm so grateful for the military lifestyle that we've been able to live in so many different places and so many different wonderful places overall, but it there are drawbacks for sure. And it's exhausting. We did that. We did I mean my three year old daughter has lived in This is her fourth home. She lives in four different houses before. You know, that's crazy. My oldest daughter's gone to eight, eight different schools and she's in fifth grade. Wow. That's crazy. Yeah, no, I

Katy Weber 1:00:14
could see that too. But it must be nice to be able to continue to see clients, even if you're moving and also to be able to offer and like, connect with other military wives who are probably going through the same thing. And who knows, probably have ADHD too, because?

Holly D'Arcy 1:00:31
Some of them do, some of them do. And it? Yes, I it really is, it is really, I feel super grateful and lucky that I'm in this position. I think it's really cool. It's fun, too. Because when we travel, it's like, oh, we have a friend in this state, we have a friend in the state. You know, it's really neat when you think about it. So yeah, I feel very grateful that in 2024, we can work with people virtually from anywhere in the world, and, you know, be able to support one another and connect for

Katy Weber 1:00:59
sure. It just occurred to me because I know, you said that your husband was not surprised at all. But what happened? Did you tell your brother, what was his response? Yeah,

Holly D'Arcy 1:01:08
they. So from what I understand, I have three brothers and from what I from what they've shared with me, from what I understand, two of the three of them were diagnosed with ADHD thing is that they were diagnosed as kids, and I think that there was just less information out about it, you know, and in our house, there was less communication about it, and not understanding a whole lot about it. And so they were like, wow, like, they were very supportive and happy that I was able to, like, find, you know, learn that about myself. And they're all I mean, we are all very close, my dad passed in 2021. And we are me and my three brothers are very close, we talk almost every single day. And they just, they were very supportive. And they're, they're really good about like, sometimes I'll share a podcast with them, or I'll share something, I see an article because the reality is that it is very much hereditary. And so then they have children as well. So it's, you know, really neat, I think, as their big sister to kind of share, like my perspective and things that I've been struggling with, for them to keep an eye out, you know, maybe with in their own lives or in the lives of you know, their kids as they get older too. So, yeah, they've been great. They're very supportive, and also probably not terribly surprised. Like, Hey, Sis, you're a lot like us, you know, you just do it in your own way.

Katy Weber 1:02:33
I know I have two older brothers that I keep having those. I keep having those gentle like, Aha moments is neither of them has been diagnosed, but I've like you might want to look into that. But yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you so much. This has been really lovely. And thank you for being open. I know. I threw some some surprise questions at you. But I was really fascinating. No, it was just

Holly D'Arcy 1:03:01
one of those things. And like, Okay, I gotta think about this one for a second. I loved it. This was a really fun conversation. And honestly, time flew by.

Katy Weber 1:03:15
There you have it. Thank you for listening. And I really hope you enjoyed this episode of the women and ADHD podcast. If you'd like to find out more about me and my coaching programs, head over to women and adhd.com. If you're a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you'd like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit women and adhd.com/podcast guest and you can find that link in the episode show notes. Also, you know, we ADHD ears crave feedback. And I would really appreciate hearing from you the listener, please take a moment to leave me a review on Apple podcasts or audible. And if that feels like too much, and I totally get it. Please just take a few seconds right now to give me a five star rating. Or share this episode on your own social media to help reach more women who maybe have yet to discover and lean into this gift of nerd of urgency, and they may be struggling and they don't even know why. I'll see you next week when I interview another amazing woman who discovered she's not lazy or crazy or broken. But she has ADHD. She's now on the path to understanding her neuro divergent mind and finally using this gift to her advantage. Take care till then